| I had some fun today. This is what I did: 
This is Adam Brody, although I think it looks more like Star.  This is the picture I used as a guideline. |
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| At church this morning, the sermon was about joy. The usual be joyful in all you do, rejoice in times of trouble bit that I've heard many times. But about the time I started to pay attention, Pastor Mike said, "We all live with the illusion that joy will come when conditions change." As he gave examples to explain what he meant, I realized that he was describing me entirely. The more I thought about it, the more it became evident that I don't know how to find joy in the present. I can find happiness, but not joy. So I keep waiting for things to change because I'm convinced that I'll have the joy I've been searching for when, for example, I move to Spain. |
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| I watched a movie last night about skinheads. How can people be so ignorant, so hateful? What motivates them? It makes me sad to know that there are people like that in the world. I realized that my family would be a target for their hate. They hate my mom because she's not American, maybe they hate me because I'm only half American. I'm not scared, but really sad. They don't even know us, can't even give us a chance. It's so pitiful. That's such a sad life to live. Where's the joy and the peace? |
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| I hate knowing that I have to change. Change is so hard. Ugh...I'm just so confused right now. Unfortunately, it won't just go away so I have to make a decision. |
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